Sometimes it might be hard to comprehend, but it is OK to love more than one person in your lifetime. We do not have a limit on the amount of love we have to give. When our children are born, we often think about how we never knew that we could love something so much. Then concern grows when you’re expecting another child and you wonder how on earth you have enough love to love the same again?! But it just happens. It’s like your heart just shuffles things around and makes room.
When someone we love dies, and I am primarily talking about a partner or romantic interest, it is understandable at the beginning to think and truly believe that we will never love again. However, sometimes we are unfortunate enough to lose a lover when we have so much more of our life left to live and so much to experience, would we really want to never experience love again?
I’m here to tell you that it is OK to fall in love again.
Losing a partner is one of the most difficult things we could ever experience, whether from a long-term illness or through spontaneous loss. It often feels that the darkness on the road of bereavement will be perpetual, but one day you will open your eyes and perhaps feel ready to dip a toe back in the water of companionship, dating and possibly even love.
Some will actively decide to try dating again after a while, and some may be waiting for a sign to let them know it’s OK to be friends with someone of the opposite gender again. The important thing is to wait and know when you are ready. There is no right or wrong about when you will be ready… for some, it is months, other years and for some it is truly never, and they are content as they are.
The important thing is to have the conversation with yourself and ensure that you are truly ready so that you are being fair on both yourself and prospective new partners. You also need to remember that if you do manage to find love again, that it is OK and does not mean you loved your previous partner any less.
It simply means, your heart grew once again to let someone else in.
“When it’s gone, you’ll know what a gift love was. You’ll suffer like this. So go back and fight to restore it.”
Ian McEwan